my mama

you just look at your mom differently after you have had your own child. i can't believe that she got up with me at night when i was a newborn, that she changed my many many diapers, and rocked me to sleep when i cried for hours. and she's still taking care of me, and spoiling me and my family. i feel so lucky to have a mom that i cherish and love.

grandma rachel came in to town a day before my birthday. it's the first time spending my birthday with her in years. i love having my mama around. she's as clean as i am, and kept my home immaculate. mopped every night. dishes. laundry. organizing. you name it, she did it. even scrubbed my tub. i also asked her to practically plan sofia's third birthday party...and boy did she deliver. it's time like these where i want to live with her. i wish i had a chef, house cleaner, and nanny to watch my kids so that i can sleep and recover fully. just for 6 months, that's not too much to ask, right?

mama, thanks for keeping my house clean, spoiling my children, playing with them, and making sure i had time to rest and relax. i love you every time your heart beats.

Heather Bliss

we have known the bliss for a while. and they are our best couple friends. i mean, "before kids, stay up till 4 am, go out every weekend, eat at each other's house 3x a week" kind of friends. we were devastated to leave them in provo.

heather flew out to lubbock to help out with babe. can you believe that? she flew to lubbock. who does that? (unless you're mom). i couldn't wait to spend time with her, watch the kids together, and just hang out...but of course, that didn't work out. she couldn't have been here at a more perfect time. she was here when i went in to the hospital a second time. she no longer was "tia heather", she quickly became the mom of my two kids. she was there on my really bad day of vomiting and couldn't even stand up from migraines. she waited on me hand and foot. when i came home from the hospital, she had baked my favorite pumpkin bread...the smell overwhelmed the house, best thing to come home to.

i can't express the love i have for heather, and the love we have for eliot who watched their son and let her come! bliss family, you are our favs. next time, we want the whole family here.

she took a lot of pictures of the kids with her iphone...but unfortunately we didn't even get a picture WITH tia heather!

Mama Crane

my mother-in-law has been a rock for me. i can trust her, i look forward to her calls and visits, and i love her. i am so grateful she came out to help me.

in the past, she's been here to help with my new born. unfortunately, stela took a long time, and pauline became the stay at home mom to a 2 and 1 yr old for two whole days! it was the biggest stress off my chest just not having to worry about my kids. i'm the type of mom that texts reminders: make sure they drink water, they won't ask unless you make them drink...make sure sofia pees before bed time...make sure they...blah blah blah." i'm annoying. but i didn't have to do that with her. she's a mother of 7! they napped for her (sofia does NOT nap anymore), they ate all their food for her, they didn't fuss at bedtime. not fair, but i'm glad they were good for her. i didn't even get to say goodbye to her, because i was still in the hospital. when i came home, there were tupperwares of chicken noodle soup (so i wouldn't have to worry about lunches) and home made pasta sauce in the freezer for the future. divine. i would've loved for her to stay the whole month...but she has a life too, sadly.

here's when the kids came to the hospital...

ps. she painted my toe nails right before i went in to labor so i could have pretty feet to look at while i was pushing. how thoughtful.

Snail Mail

although we live in a world of technology, there is just something about getting something in the mail (other than bills). ordering something on amazon, or having the UPS truck stop in front of your house, or getting a card from a family/friend, just does something to me.

i have been overwhelmed by the love i've gotten through snail mail. it started before stela was born. my sister, ariel, sent me a package with a blankie to perfectly match the new nursery, and beanies for the kids she crocheted. stela wore the beanie home from the hospital, and sleeps with the blanket every night. and has already peed on it. so, so thoughtful.

then i received a care package from my good friend, jaime. jaime is one of those kinds of people where it seems like she's up for hours at night making lists of ways she can serve every single person she knows...not just the people she likes. it's amazing, and exhausting. anyway, even though i live hundreds of miles away from her, she still had to spoil me with a care package. so, so thoughtful.

while in the hospital i got a edible arrangements package from my sweet mama. it was heaven sent because the hospital food was disgusting. i gobbled it down...probably should've admired it more, but was too hungry. again, so thoughtful.

after i had stela, when i got home from the hospital, i got a package. my sis-in-law from oregon, traci, had sent me a package. a gift for each person in the family. crazy nice. she has 6 kids, so i'm sure she knows exactly what i'm going through right now.

it's overwhelming how thoughtful people are. makes me want to serve others...as soon as i'm more recovered.

Ladies of Lubbock

although i moved here from provo, the mecca of LDS moms my age, i have to say...the ladies of lubbock really stepped up to help. its times like these where i am so grateful i am LDS and seriously have no idea what i would do if i wasn't.

before my mother in law came i had two friends, leilani and regan, who were constantly taking sofia from me. they would call, stop by, text and before i knew it...sofia was gone for 2-4 hours at a time...having the time of her life with their daughters. this meant the world to me. you can imagine being 40 weeks pregnant, chasing after a 2 and 1 yr old. i never asked them (i really, really hate asking). they would make me... "hey, i'll pick up sofia at noon." They took her to ballet class when i was in the hospital. it was amazing and exactly what i needed.

i had a list of girls schedules who were available to drop everything (even at 3 am) and watch my kids if i went in to labor (thankfully, my mom in law was in town, so i didn't have to use the list!). when i went in to labor, i texted one friend...just one (joleen)...and an hour later i had a week of dinners organized for me. ah-mazing.

thank you leilani, regan, joleen, aubrey, kirsten, rebecca, roxanne, emily, and channing for watching my kids or making me meals. i barely know you, but i already love you. here's another pic of stela to make it all worth it.

Stela Marie Crane

i feel like everything in this delivery process was a first. it was a first for me to feel fake contractions so early on. it was a first to reach, and pass, my due date. it was a first for me to be in a place where i don't fully know the people.

stela, here is your story.

monday, oct 7th
no contractions. i had a docs appointment that afternoon and i was going to ask dr. hook to move things along so i could meet you, and more importantly so grandma crane could meet you! she had been in lubbock since saturday, patiently waiting for your arrival. so, i was at about a 5 and dr. hook said you were so ready to come in to the world. i checked in and was settled in my room by 5:30 pm. so far, we weren't too impressed by the hospital (they made us wait a very long time).

to make up for it, my nurse, yvette, was amazing. spoiled me rotten and kept me so informed. i wanted to take her home with me. dr. hook was there almost every step of the way. she broke my water, which was a raging river of death (a first for me too).

unfortunately there was a complication with the epidural. my worst, worst nightmare. ok, my worst nightmare is your dad dying, so maybe not my worst. anyway, i'm deathly afraid of needles, so this happening was just really scary to me. a "wet tap" happened. which is when they accidentally go in too deep (like a mili of millimeter) and fluid starts to leak. he had to go in and do an intrathecal epidural. which means i had to have it in 24 hours. worst thing ever. sorry, i'm being dramatic, but it was really awful. anyway, he said the side effects would be headaches. i thought to myself "that's not too bad, i can live with that." i had no idea what was in store for me.

back to happy story. i was facetiming my mom and got off the phone with her at 9:56 pm. stela, you were born at 10:10 pm. that's how fast you came! i barely even pushed twice and you were out. it was amazing. you were beautiful, and perfect, and we just wanted to snuggle you. you weighed 7 lbs 7 oz, a perfect weight. 19 and 3/4 in long. we didn't actually have a name for you just yet. for some reason, it just wasn't coming to us. dr. hook said it was her number #1 easiest delivery of all time. good job baby girl. you are already competitive and like to be the best and set a record.

to say the least, stela, despite all of my fears, and all of my past tears of having children so close together...looking at your gorgeous face and feeling your incredibly strong spirit, we couldn't help but instantly fall in love with you. funny how that happens.

sofia and lucas are obsessed with you. sofia wants to hold you all the time and is always concerned about whispering just in case you're asleep. lucas screams his head off when you leave the room. he throws himself on the floor and throws whatever he has in his hand until you come back. cute, but annoying. he also likes to poke every hole in your face, sorry about that.

recovery has been hard. i had to be readmitted to the hospital because of my epidural problems. i don't want to go too much in to detail because i don't want to relive it or remember it. just google it, and you can read about the side effects :)

i warn you now, i will be posting about the overwhelming amount of help i have received. i feel like every person deserves their own blog post, seriously, the Lord has blessed our family more than we could have ever expected. stela marie, you are definitely one of those blessings. welcome to our little family.

A Tutu and a Tap Shoe

i have waited for this day since i found out i was having a girl. making my daughter do something i am in love with. tap.

today sofia had her ballet class in the morn. and her tap/tumble class in the evening. i seriously teared up just looking at her excited face when she put her outfit and shoes on.

her two, sweet friends from church are also in her ballet class, so she was ecstatic (even though she doesn't look it in the pic)...

i'm so glad and grateful for little alba and violet. sofia needs friends badly and she is always so excited to see them.

she had to have a costume change for tap class...

we decided to add a headband for more dance effect. also, she loves to pose. i love it.

lucas could care less that his sister had her first class today...

still and always will be daddy's girl...

i love this girl.

ps. no baby yet.

A Few Days Left. Tribute to My Two Babies.

i am minutes, hours, days away from welcoming the 5th to our family. third baby. so, i thought i'd write a quick note to my other two babies, because yes, they are still babies.

sofia,
you are two years old. you became a big sister so early in life. you took on the role, and dominated like no other. you love lucas, at least i know you do because every morning you are so excited to see him. an hour after being awake with him, you quickly remember that he shattered your "only child" world and are back to being pretty mean to him. you love to get a reaction out of me. when i ask you to do something, you yell "no," then when i turn around to look at you, you give me the cheesiest smile and say "ok, mom" in a sweet little, perfect voice. you do this a lot, and i fall for it a lot. you still love to eat meat. it still grosses me out, but makes your dad so proud. sausage, deli meat, hot dogs, pot roast, bacon. doesn't matter what kind, you scarf it like an animal. don't worry, i limit it. you walk into a room and say "hey guys, what you doing?" when we answer, you say "oh..." and repeat what we say, as if you know what "studying for class" or "trying to get this stain off the floor" means. you're not sure if your brother's name is lucas or buddy. we love you so much. we love that you're as tall as most 5 year olds. we love that you want to wear a dress almost every day. we love that you know Spanish. we love that you wake us up every morning and sit quietly in our room while you play on dad's ipad so we can sleep an extra half hour. we love how you walk on your toes, as if you need more height. we love that you pray. thank you for being our first born and we know that in the future, you are going to be a great example of a young woman to this baby girl. amo mucho, sofia mae.

lucas,
you are only one year old.you think you are so cool when you wear your sneakers. you put them on, and you have a little strut in your walk like you are the big man on campus. you throw a lot in the trash can. i find spatulas, and sippy cups, and books there daily. you know to put your plate and fork in the sink, and you can reach!  you, like your big sis, are so tall. you only play by yourself when dad's home. when moms home, you want to be carried. you want to stay by my side. you want to climb on me. you say "dad, mama, agua (water), and uva (grape)." you're a picky eater; what kid doesn't like bread? you love music. whenever i'm driving, you and your sister are content when i'm blasting music...preferably ghetto music so you can bob your head.  there is so much we love about you. we love how rosy your cheeks get after 15 minutes of playing outside. we love how your legs are so skinny. we love that you follow your big sis around, even though she's so mean to you. we love that you are the biggest snuggler of the family. you let me kiss you as much as i want. you're obsessed with dad playing hide and seek with you. you're not very good at hiding. you don't understand yet that i'm not going to give you all my attention anymore. but i know you're ready. i know that you know this little girl has to join our family right now. i know that you'll step in and be the protector of your two beautiful sisters. i know you'll look up to your dad and want to be just like him when you grow up, because he really is the greatest man we know. we love you lucas j.

i'm terrified of 3 under 3. but with a husband and dad like jeff, my nerves are calmed. i might not be a mom who is ready, but she chose us. and she chose this time to join our young family. and she knows that i'll love her, because she knows how much i love her brother and sister. bring it on, baby girl. we'll see you soon.

When You GIve a Wife a Kitchenaid...

when you give a wife a kitchenaid, she's going to make you chocolate chip cookies...weekly. and gain some weight. sofia loves to make cookies with me. i really don't know how to use the kitchenaid to make anything else yet, so it's getting good use just for this.

since sofia loves making cookies, and jeff loves eating them, and i don't mind eating them either...you better believe we have perfected the recipe. thanks heather bliss.

 last week making cookies...

two days ago making cookies...

it's getting harder and harder to entertain these kids since i'm now 9 months pregnant. every day sofia asks to go to preschool. it's so not fair. all of her provo friends are looking cute on their first day of school and she's stuck at home with me. she looks 5! come on people. when she starts pre school next year, she'll look like a kinder kid. maybe even a 1st grader.

we still listen to pandora disney daily. lucas is very comfortable with his masculinity and will therefore dance to princess music...



MVI 0071 from Jacqueline Crane on Vimeo.

Dallas, Austin, and a Photo Shoot

we have family in dallas and austin...6 hours away, but better than nothing! we took a quick trip to see my tio, tia, and primos who i haven't seen in over 10 years. then headed over to austin to see jeff's oldest sis and her fam bam.

in dallas we spent most of the time in downtown where my cousin, andres and his new wifey, live. it was a dream...eating from food trucks, going to trendy parks, eating churros with cajeta (mexican thick caramel type thingy), and ate at the best pizza place ever in the chic bishop's district where my cousin, joshua and his new wife, live. my dad's sister, tia chela, hasn't aged in 10 years and when i heard my tio eddie's classic voice, it was like i was 12 years old all over again. 

introducing my new girl cousins who joined our family this past year...

angelee...

and yesi...

i quickly fell in love with these beautiful girls, as did my kids.

thank you family for an amazing time, can't wait to go again.

on to austin...

the wrights are some of the best people in this world. seriously. we are so so so happy that they live in texas. no one treats my kids with the love and care that my sweet nephew, kaleb, treats them.  again, we hung out, went to the movies (which jeff and i NEVER do), and ate at amazing places (arguably the best burger place i've ever been to). i wish i could go up once a month to get the treatment i get there...candy on our pillows and home cooked meals. spoiled.

tio rhino is the biggest BYU fan, and i remember him wearing this wig on game days. so of course we had to get out kids in it too...

don't mind the big pregnant woman stuffing her face in the back...

logan was 11 when i met him. today is his birthday and he is now 16. SIXTEEN? what the what. these teens are so good looking.

who doesn't love tia kelli?

hope you guys stay in austin for at least 3 years. please, please, please.

yesterday sofia wanted to do a photo shoot. weird, huh? but she was so funny, and posed, and looked so old to me that i just had to post them. we by no means, have a nice camera, so i'm sorry for the poor quality shots. but her smile is priceless.

ok, first off, she only wears dresses right now. and when she finds my fedora, there's no taking it away from her. also, she's only 2, even though here she looks 5. she is so so tall.

love this girl. most days. she is so quirky and i feel like i turn around and she's 5 inches taller. i love how tall she is. at this rate, she'll reach my height by 1st grade.

Yep, We Live in Lubbock, TX

i was one month away of living in utah for 11 years.  11! we made the jump to texas for jeffrey to further his education at texas tech. so many changes are happening and i'm a little overwhelmed. lubbock is definitely very different from what i'm used to. san diego and provo. where everyone is outside year round. just in case you don't know where lubbock is:

my in-laws flew to provo, helped us pack up (wow), THEN they drove the uhaul all the way to lubbock so that jeff could be in the car with me and the kids (Wow, capital W). i still can't believe their amazing willingness to do such a selfless act. when we dropped them off at the airport, these were mama crane's words, "thanks sooo much for letting us come to lubbock! we loved it." like it was some kind of vacation or something! all they did was work work work! Thank you best in-laws i've ever had.

anyway. here's my list.

LOVE it:

• everything is sooo close! two targets within 5 miles of my house. 
• costco opening next month
• grid (streets set up very much like provo)
• texas tech university is beautiful- supposedly college football is amazing here and the town turns in to red raider lunatics...i'm excited for this
• our humble home- so fun painting and decorating!
• market street - a grocery store that is bit expensive, but think of sprouts, trader joes type. they walk you to your car and put your groceries in your trunk! love that when i have two kids to strap in carseats.
• family relatively close! we are going to dallas to see my dad's sister and my cousins who i haven't seen in 15 years next week. then visiting jeff's sis in austin!

This is going to be HARD to get used to:

• i can't go on walks with the stroller! sidewalks don't curb down and not every street has a sidewalk! this is bad bc i go on lots of walks with this kids...
• brown, brown, brown. never knew there were so many shades of brown.
• our humble home (humble is another word for "it's old and charming and there are so many things for poor jeff to do")
• i don't have my mom group- this has been the hardest for me. i loved my "mom group" in provo. my age, girls nights, kids my kids ages, did everything with them.
• ash, ceecee, and zoe. my kid's fan club. my sunday dinner family guests. my free babysitters. i'm DYING without these girls.
• No one is outside. ever. do i even have neighbors?? so weird coming from provo where everyone is outside, on walks, running, biking, at parks (even during 100 degree summer and 10 degree winters).

pictures of our before and after house to come...