The Help

i truly believe that every new mom should have hired help for a minimum of 6 weeks. someone to cook/clean/do laundry/play with your other children/bring you water/everything else. serious face.

that's why i love moms. pauline, jeff's mom, came to provo the day i got home from the hospital. she was AMAZING. i didn't touch a dish. she took sofia on walks. she got her dora stuff. she supported me through breastfeeding. she cried with me. she made me food. she held lucas. what more could i ask for? i am so grateful that i have a mother-in-law who i actually LOVE. not all my friends can say that. i want her to come for every baby, even if it's my 8th (not that i think i'm having 8 children!)

the day pauline went back to california, my mom flew in. i love my mama. sometimes i look at her and just think, "how did you do it?" my sisters and i are so close in age, it's crazy. she doesn't remember how she did it. let's see, what did she do while she was here? i didn't touch a dish, again. she cleaned my toilet. she organized the kids room (she's the most organized woman i know). she brought goodies for both the babies. she let me cry A LOT in front of her. she was my mom. 

i am so grateful for the help i have received through this tough time in my life. i forgot to mention one person. Ashley crane...jeff's sister. she was the one who stayed with sofia the entire time i was in the hospital. spent the night with her, fed her, changed her very dirty diapers, clothed her, danced with her, did "ring around the rosie" with her a thousand times, woke up with her when she had an episode at 3 in the morning (did i mention sofia got 4 more teeth since lucas was born, FOUR?!!). she loves her tia ash. i don't know what i would've done without her. 

i feel like i'm doing an acceptance speech of an award or something.

thank you pauline, mom, and ash. love you guys. here's a picture to make it all worth it...

Lucas

thursday morning, 6:15 am, my first contraction happens. 10 minutes later, another contraction. 8 minutes later, another. 6:45 am, i wake up jeffrey. i decide to eat a bowl of cereal, then get in the shower and get ready. 9:00 am rebekah saves the day and comes over to watch Sofia. 

9:30 am we are admitted to the hospital. i am 5 cm dilated. everything was happening so fast. so much faster than Sofia. it turns out my nurse was my friend, jennifer, who I danced with at BYU. 

heather bliss was there every step of the way (just like she was with sofia). i was so lucky to have her document everything. her hubby, eliot, took over the "sofia shift" and ended up watching her from 12-4 pm! i was so grateful he was willing because sofia absolutely LOVES her tio eliot.

jeffrey was amazing through the whole labor, i didn't expect any less of him.

after just an hour and a half, i was dilated 8 cm. this baby was coming fast.

the amount of pressure i was feeling was unbearable, so jeffrey kept keeping me entertained to try to get my mind of everything.

we have a picture just like this with sofia's labor...

somtimes when i was in pain, he'd do something like this...unfortunately it didn't take the pain away, or make me laugh.

heather took so many pictures of jeffrey and i, which i was glad because i feel like we barely have any together. it's always of jeff and sofia.

here's heather...

yes i tried to sleep. so not successfully.

at about 12:35 pm, i started to push. after just a few minutes, i was so tired that the tears just started flowing. i felt like i had been pushing with every single muscle of my body...even my eyelashes hurt. how do people push for 3+ hours?? unbelievable!

12:45 pm, after 10 minutes of pushing...

lucas jefferson crane becomes the newest addition to our family.

check out his feet. massive.

 nothing like a father and son. although sofia is totally daddy's little girl, i could tell jeffrey's heart melted at the sight of his first son.

it's sad to see how swollen kids are right after birth.

love seeing Lucas' hand compared to jeff's.

my doctor, dr. savage, was actually out of town. she warned me of this and reassured me that her replacement, dr. harrison, was amazing. she was right. i absolutely loved her and would recommend her to anyone and everyone.

it's funny how a woman can devote 9 months to growing a child, then go through excruciating pain and rip her body apart, only to have a smile on her face a few minutes later, and an unexplainable amount of love for another human being. i guess this has to happen for the human race to go on.

how can you not love this little guy?

we love being a family of four. lucas has been an angel child. i think God knew i needed one in order to have more in the future. sofia was quite a challenge. understatement. he sleeps a lot. jeff and i aren't used to it, we check to see if he's breathing. or we are scared he'll be up all night. nope.

being a mom is seriously the best feeling in the world. the amount of help i've received is amazing. i'll blog later about all that...i just wanted to get the birth story out. hope you enjoyed. can't wait for you all to meet him.

To My Sweet Baby Girl

Sofia Tortilla,

in just a few days, or weeks, or hours, you will be a big sister. you will take on the responsibility of being an example, of being a little more grown up, of being my special helper. i have no doubt that you're ready, despite the many tantrums and funja faces you give me daily. i'm so grateful we got to spend this 19 months together, alone. you've taught me so much about being a mom, and i owe it to you for bettering me as a person. you've shown me that forgiveness is key, innocence is beautiful, and that smiles make everything better. thank you for being my special baby girl and daddy's little princess.

i love how you stand on the window sill and blow kisses to dad when he leaves. how you are as excited about food as i am. i love how your hair grows so fast (you got that from your mama), and how you're taller than the rest of the kids (got that from dad). i love how you can make even a 9 month pregnant woman play "ring around the rosie" with you, and have her fall and get back up only to do it over again. i love that you understand more spanish than english. i love your bum in jeggings. i love how you absolutely love fruit (got that from mama) and would die without fruit snacks (from dad). i love that you show your teeth when you smile. i love how you snuggle up next to me right before bedtime to watch dora. how you only know how to say "no" and not "si," so when dora asks you a questions like "would you like to help me save the puppy?" you respond, "no." i love your smell. i love how much you love your dad, you even choose him over me, and i'm ok with that. i love how you fold your arms to pray with us every night.

you truly are my special girl. teach baby boy everything you know.

Love, Mom.

this is the month we become a family of four. i have complete mixed feelings. i love this little guy so much, but i'm terrified to repeat everything again, since it's still so fresh in my brain. ready or not, here he comes.