Mama Crane

my mother-in-law has been a rock for me. i can trust her, i look forward to her calls and visits, and i love her. i am so grateful she came out to help me.

in the past, she's been here to help with my new born. unfortunately, stela took a long time, and pauline became the stay at home mom to a 2 and 1 yr old for two whole days! it was the biggest stress off my chest just not having to worry about my kids. i'm the type of mom that texts reminders: make sure they drink water, they won't ask unless you make them drink...make sure sofia pees before bed time...make sure they...blah blah blah." i'm annoying. but i didn't have to do that with her. she's a mother of 7! they napped for her (sofia does NOT nap anymore), they ate all their food for her, they didn't fuss at bedtime. not fair, but i'm glad they were good for her. i didn't even get to say goodbye to her, because i was still in the hospital. when i came home, there were tupperwares of chicken noodle soup (so i wouldn't have to worry about lunches) and home made pasta sauce in the freezer for the future. divine. i would've loved for her to stay the whole month...but she has a life too, sadly.

here's when the kids came to the hospital...

ps. she painted my toe nails right before i went in to labor so i could have pretty feet to look at while i was pushing. how thoughtful.

Snail Mail

although we live in a world of technology, there is just something about getting something in the mail (other than bills). ordering something on amazon, or having the UPS truck stop in front of your house, or getting a card from a family/friend, just does something to me.

i have been overwhelmed by the love i've gotten through snail mail. it started before stela was born. my sister, ariel, sent me a package with a blankie to perfectly match the new nursery, and beanies for the kids she crocheted. stela wore the beanie home from the hospital, and sleeps with the blanket every night. and has already peed on it. so, so thoughtful.

then i received a care package from my good friend, jaime. jaime is one of those kinds of people where it seems like she's up for hours at night making lists of ways she can serve every single person she knows...not just the people she likes. it's amazing, and exhausting. anyway, even though i live hundreds of miles away from her, she still had to spoil me with a care package. so, so thoughtful.

while in the hospital i got a edible arrangements package from my sweet mama. it was heaven sent because the hospital food was disgusting. i gobbled it down...probably should've admired it more, but was too hungry. again, so thoughtful.

after i had stela, when i got home from the hospital, i got a package. my sis-in-law from oregon, traci, had sent me a package. a gift for each person in the family. crazy nice. she has 6 kids, so i'm sure she knows exactly what i'm going through right now.

it's overwhelming how thoughtful people are. makes me want to serve others...as soon as i'm more recovered.

Ladies of Lubbock

although i moved here from provo, the mecca of LDS moms my age, i have to say...the ladies of lubbock really stepped up to help. its times like these where i am so grateful i am LDS and seriously have no idea what i would do if i wasn't.

before my mother in law came i had two friends, leilani and regan, who were constantly taking sofia from me. they would call, stop by, text and before i knew it...sofia was gone for 2-4 hours at a time...having the time of her life with their daughters. this meant the world to me. you can imagine being 40 weeks pregnant, chasing after a 2 and 1 yr old. i never asked them (i really, really hate asking). they would make me... "hey, i'll pick up sofia at noon." They took her to ballet class when i was in the hospital. it was amazing and exactly what i needed.

i had a list of girls schedules who were available to drop everything (even at 3 am) and watch my kids if i went in to labor (thankfully, my mom in law was in town, so i didn't have to use the list!). when i went in to labor, i texted one friend...just one (joleen)...and an hour later i had a week of dinners organized for me. ah-mazing.

thank you leilani, regan, joleen, aubrey, kirsten, rebecca, roxanne, emily, and channing for watching my kids or making me meals. i barely know you, but i already love you. here's another pic of stela to make it all worth it.

Stela Marie Crane

i feel like everything in this delivery process was a first. it was a first for me to feel fake contractions so early on. it was a first to reach, and pass, my due date. it was a first for me to be in a place where i don't fully know the people.

stela, here is your story.

monday, oct 7th
no contractions. i had a docs appointment that afternoon and i was going to ask dr. hook to move things along so i could meet you, and more importantly so grandma crane could meet you! she had been in lubbock since saturday, patiently waiting for your arrival. so, i was at about a 5 and dr. hook said you were so ready to come in to the world. i checked in and was settled in my room by 5:30 pm. so far, we weren't too impressed by the hospital (they made us wait a very long time).

to make up for it, my nurse, yvette, was amazing. spoiled me rotten and kept me so informed. i wanted to take her home with me. dr. hook was there almost every step of the way. she broke my water, which was a raging river of death (a first for me too).

unfortunately there was a complication with the epidural. my worst, worst nightmare. ok, my worst nightmare is your dad dying, so maybe not my worst. anyway, i'm deathly afraid of needles, so this happening was just really scary to me. a "wet tap" happened. which is when they accidentally go in too deep (like a mili of millimeter) and fluid starts to leak. he had to go in and do an intrathecal epidural. which means i had to have it in 24 hours. worst thing ever. sorry, i'm being dramatic, but it was really awful. anyway, he said the side effects would be headaches. i thought to myself "that's not too bad, i can live with that." i had no idea what was in store for me.

back to happy story. i was facetiming my mom and got off the phone with her at 9:56 pm. stela, you were born at 10:10 pm. that's how fast you came! i barely even pushed twice and you were out. it was amazing. you were beautiful, and perfect, and we just wanted to snuggle you. you weighed 7 lbs 7 oz, a perfect weight. 19 and 3/4 in long. we didn't actually have a name for you just yet. for some reason, it just wasn't coming to us. dr. hook said it was her number #1 easiest delivery of all time. good job baby girl. you are already competitive and like to be the best and set a record.

to say the least, stela, despite all of my fears, and all of my past tears of having children so close together...looking at your gorgeous face and feeling your incredibly strong spirit, we couldn't help but instantly fall in love with you. funny how that happens.

sofia and lucas are obsessed with you. sofia wants to hold you all the time and is always concerned about whispering just in case you're asleep. lucas screams his head off when you leave the room. he throws himself on the floor and throws whatever he has in his hand until you come back. cute, but annoying. he also likes to poke every hole in your face, sorry about that.

recovery has been hard. i had to be readmitted to the hospital because of my epidural problems. i don't want to go too much in to detail because i don't want to relive it or remember it. just google it, and you can read about the side effects :)

i warn you now, i will be posting about the overwhelming amount of help i have received. i feel like every person deserves their own blog post, seriously, the Lord has blessed our family more than we could have ever expected. stela marie, you are definitely one of those blessings. welcome to our little family.

A Tutu and a Tap Shoe

i have waited for this day since i found out i was having a girl. making my daughter do something i am in love with. tap.

today sofia had her ballet class in the morn. and her tap/tumble class in the evening. i seriously teared up just looking at her excited face when she put her outfit and shoes on.

her two, sweet friends from church are also in her ballet class, so she was ecstatic (even though she doesn't look it in the pic)...

i'm so glad and grateful for little alba and violet. sofia needs friends badly and she is always so excited to see them.

she had to have a costume change for tap class...

we decided to add a headband for more dance effect. also, she loves to pose. i love it.

lucas could care less that his sister had her first class today...

still and always will be daddy's girl...

i love this girl.

ps. no baby yet.

A Few Days Left. Tribute to My Two Babies.

i am minutes, hours, days away from welcoming the 5th to our family. third baby. so, i thought i'd write a quick note to my other two babies, because yes, they are still babies.

sofia,
you are two years old. you became a big sister so early in life. you took on the role, and dominated like no other. you love lucas, at least i know you do because every morning you are so excited to see him. an hour after being awake with him, you quickly remember that he shattered your "only child" world and are back to being pretty mean to him. you love to get a reaction out of me. when i ask you to do something, you yell "no," then when i turn around to look at you, you give me the cheesiest smile and say "ok, mom" in a sweet little, perfect voice. you do this a lot, and i fall for it a lot. you still love to eat meat. it still grosses me out, but makes your dad so proud. sausage, deli meat, hot dogs, pot roast, bacon. doesn't matter what kind, you scarf it like an animal. don't worry, i limit it. you walk into a room and say "hey guys, what you doing?" when we answer, you say "oh..." and repeat what we say, as if you know what "studying for class" or "trying to get this stain off the floor" means. you're not sure if your brother's name is lucas or buddy. we love you so much. we love that you're as tall as most 5 year olds. we love that you want to wear a dress almost every day. we love that you know Spanish. we love that you wake us up every morning and sit quietly in our room while you play on dad's ipad so we can sleep an extra half hour. we love how you walk on your toes, as if you need more height. we love that you pray. thank you for being our first born and we know that in the future, you are going to be a great example of a young woman to this baby girl. amo mucho, sofia mae.

lucas,
you are only one year old.you think you are so cool when you wear your sneakers. you put them on, and you have a little strut in your walk like you are the big man on campus. you throw a lot in the trash can. i find spatulas, and sippy cups, and books there daily. you know to put your plate and fork in the sink, and you can reach!  you, like your big sis, are so tall. you only play by yourself when dad's home. when moms home, you want to be carried. you want to stay by my side. you want to climb on me. you say "dad, mama, agua (water), and uva (grape)." you're a picky eater; what kid doesn't like bread? you love music. whenever i'm driving, you and your sister are content when i'm blasting music...preferably ghetto music so you can bob your head.  there is so much we love about you. we love how rosy your cheeks get after 15 minutes of playing outside. we love how your legs are so skinny. we love that you follow your big sis around, even though she's so mean to you. we love that you are the biggest snuggler of the family. you let me kiss you as much as i want. you're obsessed with dad playing hide and seek with you. you're not very good at hiding. you don't understand yet that i'm not going to give you all my attention anymore. but i know you're ready. i know that you know this little girl has to join our family right now. i know that you'll step in and be the protector of your two beautiful sisters. i know you'll look up to your dad and want to be just like him when you grow up, because he really is the greatest man we know. we love you lucas j.

i'm terrified of 3 under 3. but with a husband and dad like jeff, my nerves are calmed. i might not be a mom who is ready, but she chose us. and she chose this time to join our young family. and she knows that i'll love her, because she knows how much i love her brother and sister. bring it on, baby girl. we'll see you soon.

When You GIve a Wife a Kitchenaid...

when you give a wife a kitchenaid, she's going to make you chocolate chip cookies...weekly. and gain some weight. sofia loves to make cookies with me. i really don't know how to use the kitchenaid to make anything else yet, so it's getting good use just for this.

since sofia loves making cookies, and jeff loves eating them, and i don't mind eating them either...you better believe we have perfected the recipe. thanks heather bliss.

 last week making cookies...

two days ago making cookies...

it's getting harder and harder to entertain these kids since i'm now 9 months pregnant. every day sofia asks to go to preschool. it's so not fair. all of her provo friends are looking cute on their first day of school and she's stuck at home with me. she looks 5! come on people. when she starts pre school next year, she'll look like a kinder kid. maybe even a 1st grader.

we still listen to pandora disney daily. lucas is very comfortable with his masculinity and will therefore dance to princess music...



MVI 0071 from Jacqueline Crane on Vimeo.